Character Description 2

His quiet exterior concealed a true desire to succeed.  As he would tell his story, it was with pure determination with which he would make his way up the ranks.  And while it was true that he would never lose a fight for lack of effort, there was something else…  Along with this will to succeed, he seemed to have a lot of talent too.  His energy level and physical strength weren’t spectacular, but he found ways to overcome those problems.  With an unyielding spirit, he increased his energy in times of need, and with a sharp mind, he always seemed to find a way to win.  Still, you could only hide your weaknesses so much.  When determination and strategy alone were not enough, he trained to improve on these weaknesses.


His life was one of politeness and respect.  He never really got angry; in fact, he never really showed much emotion at all.  He never really expressed his thoughts either, so most of his feelings and opinions were unknown.  Yet, he must have been fueled by some powerful drive to become the best.

Game Design: Wii shoot 'em up

I enjoy playing most shoot 'em up games, so I thought, "If I could make one, what would it be like?"  When I thought of making it on the Wii, I knew what I wanted one of the main features to be (something that I would be surprised if it hasn't been thought of, although I don't know any shmup games that use it): aiming with the Wii remote.

You would move with the nunchuck and aim with the wii remote, and you could fire in any direction across the screen (your shot travels in a straight line from your ship to where you are aiming on the screen, and goes until it goes off the screen).  As a designer, you could do a lot more with moving the screen in different directions rather than just vertical or just horizontal scrolling, and you could also have enemies appear from any direction.  It would be an interesting new challenge, having to aim and move separately.  That would be like the main new concept of the game, but beyond that, there are lots of other features that I would consider including.

How I tell my story.

Everything that's been written up to now has meaning in its own right.  But, there is a story to be told, and this is all a part of that too.

You might have noticed a lot of posts that relate back to previous posts, or build up to a larger post.  Yes, the story was somewhat meant to be read in order, just not as much as a normal story I suppose.

The story could be told in many ways, none of which were inaccurate.  A single event could be described as a huge, life-defining moment, despite being something that could also be thought of as being fairly ordinary, or an event could be overlooked despite being something that might be considered important.

I never really focused as much on people's appearances and on details of the surroundings, preferring instead to pay attention to thoughts and emotions and abilities.  So, in a way, the story up to now has been describing the "setting."  This post is what I would call...

The end of part 1 of the introduction.

The past blends into the present, and maybe provides a hint to the future.  I look back at the story lines that have finished and can bring back a lot of feelings.  Contradictory ones, like always.  It was all so insane, so epic, so pointless, so awful.  It was all a mistake.  The things I did, the things I didn't do.  The world shouldn't have been allowed to run like that.  But maybe, maybe I didn't really make that many mistakes.  It all depended on what you considered "wrong."

I was someone who could accomplish the impressive without really trying, and often did.  The thing with that was, if you wanted a reason to try, you weren't going to find it as easily from outside; you had to look into yourself.

Introspection revealed a tumultuous peace.  A descent into insanity or perhaps a rise to perfect logic.  You see, I always thought it was better not to be so confident that you are right about things, about the world.  I guess you could say I thought this was right.  And, believing myself to be right, I followed the path to the extreme.  I finally admitted that I myself wasn't right, and with that, I reached the end of the path.

A part of me said to go back.  If this was what it meant to be, well, not wrong, then maybe I didn't care about being wrong at all!  Living that life, existing in such a manner, it made me understand how much I gained from such a personality, which really was quite a bit.  It also made me realize how much I lost, which was quite a bit also.  I struggled to find motivation, desire, a reason, a passion...

I guess you could say I lost my purpose.

Or, maybe, there was never such a thing as an individual "purpose" at all.

The only hope for finding a purpose came from a part of me that would never stop believing in my own ability to change.  I would overcome this, and any other problem that faced me.  This was the part of me that, often foolishly, would never admit defeat.  Who cares if there was no such thing as a purpose?!  Who cares if it never existed at all!  I would MAKE my own!!!, and I would make it a reality.  I don't care if it "can't be done!"  I will find an answer.  This problem, like any other problem, was just a challenge to look forward to.

Because...

I was someone who strived to accomplish the impossible, and maybe had some special talent to do so.  Yes, that was me, and this is my story.

How you tell the story

Perhaps all that matters... is how you tell the story.

We live our lives chasing our dreams, fighting for what we believe in, caring for what matters to us.  What if, in the end, it never really mattered at all?  If our dreams were empty, our beliefs were false, and that which we cared about had no deeper meaning?

Was there really any value in running around trying to kick a ball into a net?  Was there any deeper meaning to pressing buttons on a controller?  Maybe not, but I don't think it should matter.

The Women's World Cup Finals

I didn't watch much soccer, but it wasn't exactly that I didn't like watching soccer.  It was just that I didn't really watch much TV in general.  But if I were to choose to watch something, it'd probably be sports.  Especially something with a big storyline behind it.  Like these World Cup finals.

I don't follow soccer, so I don't know much more than I happen to read, but yeah.  Japan with big upsets, first World Cup final, giving encouragement to disaster victims (and yeah, I hear a lot of stuff like "it's not even that big of a deal, it was only one part of Japan," and maybe the media's just overdramatizing it.  But is that immoral?  Not absolutely.  Although I could be wrong...)?  Then there's America, with dramatic wins to get the country interested in soccer, going for a third title.  I see a lot of: Japan, with its great technical skill and smart defense, against the big, powerful, athletic Americans.  That always makes me laugh.  Is it that obvious of a difference?  I'm expecting to see Space Jam Monstars vs the Looney Toons level difference when I watch the finals haha.  Ok, not that much, but I'm expecting to see a clear difference noticeable by even non-soccer fans.

Moral Relativism

We may spend our lives searching for the answer.  Searching for a purpose.  Our purpose.  A reason.  The meaning of it all.  What is the purpose of our existence?  What is the value of life?!

What if there isn't an answer?  What if our existence had no meaning.  What if life had no value at all.

It doesn't have to be that way.

If you didn't already realize it, this is one of the main points of this blog.  That it doesn't have to be that way.  Your judgements on people, your values, your views on the world and on right and wrong...  It just didn't have to be how you thought it should be.

People have different values, different opinions, different cultures, and the thing is, none of them were wrong.  And none of them were right.

You can see all the arguments and fights with people who know the cost of a mistake that is made, have no doubt of that which is deserved by others and by themselves in the situation, can state with absolute certainty how the world ought to run in the case they are talking about.  But the world wasn't like that.  And I thought it was worth considering, worth understanding: It doesn't have to be that way.

But the topic calls into question the value of kindness, respect, of life itself.  But, that's the next topic.  Here I'll just say that most people value life and believe in being nice, and I am of the opinion that that is a good thing.

Finally, like what was said in a part of the last post, I'm not recommending that you change yourself, your beliefs, or the way you live.  I can't see the future, and even if I could, my ideas of what is good and bad are subjective, so I can't say the world would be "better" if you accepted that things didn't have to be the way you believed.  Maybe it's true that, under your definition of worse, the world would be worse off if people followed what I said, and didn't firmly believe in their ideas as correct (although I would argue that you couldn't know that, unless you can see the future).  Although I will say that in my opinion, you should consider the topic, and then make your own decision about how to live.
But then I have to say, well, maybe I shouldn't say that I'm not recommending change.  Maybe this personality just won't lead to a better world, using a definition of better that most people would agree on (if there is one).  But maybe, even if that were true, it wouldn't matter, because that statement assumes that it is my hope that this would lead to a better world, under that definition of better, but that might not necessarily be true.  And yet, I can say that, to some extent, that is true, but, it also assumes that successfully achieving my goals is important to me.  And while that is also true, it is also assumed that that is my main goal, which may or may not be true.  And all of that is under the assumption that it is true that a personality like this won't lead to a better world.  But I can't see the future, so I can't say whether or not it would be true in the first place.
But then I'd have to say that maybe I'm over-considering this topic.  But that also takes a definition of "over," and assumes that there is some correct amount that this topic should be considered.  But I don't really agree with that.
But...

You can see why it would be ridiculous for me to say that I also considered the alternatives, and why I might be wrong, and why I'm not trying to get you to believe that I'm right, for everything I say.  And while it is probably true for most posts in the past, and will probably be true for most posts in the future (probably, but it might not be, because I could just be deceiving myself into believing that I've considered the alternatives and that this is what I want, and also there are so many things that I just might not have been aware enough to realize were also possible...), I don't plan on having something like this in every post.  But, yeah, even if it's not explicitly written, it's probably true.

It's not exactly like that...

You could see the lessons I was trying to teach, the way I saw the world, the traits I valued, the concepts I believed in, how highly I thought of myself.  But if there was anything I was good at, it was making myself, well, not exactly like that...

Smile and change it

I once read a quote on the wall of a restaurant that was something like this, "Some people grin and bear it.  Others smile and change it."

There's no reason to suffer through things unnecessarily.  Just by having the strength and the courage to act, you could make things better, for yourself and possibly for others as well.  Some people think that it would be rude to force others to change, and that it is better to "grin and bear" things.  But that's not necessarily true.  Surely society has been improved because people chose to fight for change rather than bear wrongs and injustices.

The Formula for the Fibonacci Sequence

You've probably heard of the Fibonacci sequence.  The one that goes: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8..., where each term is the sum of the last 2.  Maybe you also heard that a formula for these numbers is unknown or hasn't been found, or maybe you have found out that there actually is a formula.  It is surely a problem taught in some math class, and even a quick internet search will bring up the formula.  That formula would happen to be:

Replace the n with a 1 to get the first number in the sequence.  Put in a 2 for the 2nd, 3 for the 3rd, n for the nth...  It still seems strange to me that all those operations on the square root of 5 result in an integer sequence.
The topic reminds me of a Math Biology class last fall.  The professor asked, "How many of you have seen this before?" referring to the formula for the Fibonacci sequence.  I was the only one to raise a hand.  "And where did you see it?"  He asked if it was some math class.  "Uh..."  The answer made me proud, but I also felt a little embarrassed saying it.  "I solved it myself," I said, as normally as I possibly could.