Memory

A good friend of mine once told me that they say that the further back into your childhood you can remember, the smarter you are.  (He then proceeded to tell me, in detail, about some of the things that happened when he was really young.)  By that standard, the only type of genius I would be is the self-proclaimed kind.  I remember hardly anything from elementary school (I'm not even sure I remember my teachers' names).  Even from middle school and high school, most of what I remember is blurry, more general concepts than specific details.  A lot of mistakes stand out, some trivial (I can't believe I said "matrixes" instead of "matrices" in front of 2 friends who wouldn't care over 3 years ago) and some more serious (I can't believe I didn't turn in that assignment what, 6 years ago, 7 years ago?).  But, in order to not torment myself pointlessly, I've tried to stop myself from focusing on all of my mistakes, somewhat successfully.  Other than that, I don't remember much more than the big events that happened.

And that's not even it.  People, faces (I tended not to look at people's faces much) and names (I didn't use names much either); I didn't seem to remember those very well either.  Directions, places, scenery...
Did I ever suffer from amnesia?  I'm not sure; I can't remember.

But you know they say there's always two sides to every story.  And you could probably guess by now that this is only half of it.



Whatever it was I remembered always seemed to be really useful.

I seem to have some kind of amazing, I don't know, skill memory?  (With "amazing" being subjective of course.)  For so many of the things I have done in the past, I can recall whatever I need to to be able to do the same thing again.  It might be remembering a sequence of 611 steps, patterns of movement, or very specific timing of button presses.  But, even without ever having recalled the steps in MaxX Unlimited for a long time, I could probably do it backwards, and despite not having played Ikaruga in 2 years, I knew my old patterns, and I'm sure I could play Mario Kart Wii at about the same level even if I went months without playing.  For most things, even if I couldn't do it perfectly again in one try, it would come back very quickly.  That's why I could repeat just about anything that's on my YouTube channel.  Of course, my memory is affected by how well I originally learned whatever it was.  If it was something I was focused on learning just for a single moment, then that seemed to be something I forgot more easily.


Here's a version of a calculator memory game I made.  When I first made the game (at least 3 years ago), I used to be stuck around 15-20, and then suddenly I just went on a 50+ run, and I had found a skill that made the game easy for me.  Essentially, I could keep going as long as I focused and didn't forget the last number.  I think my high score is over 80, but ironically, I can't remember.  Anyway, it's another skill that I remember.  The funny thing is: it really only works for this game, because I know the location of the different numbers on the calculator and I memorize the sequence of button presses more than the numbers themselves.

Then there are tests.  I did extremely well with cramming (like, study an hour before the test and get an A).  But that was with tests that required a lot of memorizing (history tests, fact knowledge, etc).  On tests based on an ability to solve problems, I seemed to do even better.  Like, if I had been in class, then I could probably get an A without studying (as long as I understood the material, which I usually did).  I guess I just... remembered how to solve the problems.

And then I had some kind of, I don't know, data memory.  In one day, I memorized how to write over 80 kanji (漢字), and the next morning I was able to remember how to write all but 2 of them.

For the things I didn't seem to remember well, if it was a challenge or a test to remember those things, maybe I'd do a lot better.

Maybe it was a tradeoff.  Not being able to remember the emotional things or the details as well, but being able to remember skills and methods and such.  Knowing how helpful it is, I'd take that trade any day.