Sometimes I see other people talking and I wonder what it is they actually enjoy about their conversations. When I hear conversations like, "Man this food is extremely awful." "Yeah, I know, this cafeteria food is the worst." "It's even worse than it was last year," as people eat their cafeteria food, I mean I dunno, it's like, I... guess... that's a good time to discuss that very exciting topic... or something. Or then there are the ones that go like, "That was awesome!" "No it was terrible!" "No you're stupid!" "No you're stupid!" And then the people walk away semi-upset but somehow better friends than before, or something. Or there are the ones that are like, "What did you do yesterday?" "Stuff." "Cool." or "How are you today?" "Fine." "Good." And the people move on, satisfied with their worthwhile exchange of words, or something.
And I laugh at myself and my overemphasizing, knowing full well that I do understand it somewhat.
I suppose a natural question to me would then be, "So, you never have anything you want to say to other people?" to which I would answer, well, for the most part, no, not really. But, yes, I do, occasionally. And then, not having anything more specific to say immediately after, there's a reasonable chance that I would unintentionally force the person asking the initial question to then have to actually ask the very obvious follow up question that most people would have answered naturally anyway.
Honestly though, I don't think that there are many people that want to talk with me about the things I want to talk about. When I got 167,000 on Pipelining timed, easy, that was something I would have loved to talk about. But who really cares about that? It's a personally created game that no one besides me has ever played for any significant amount of time. I mean, anyone could say, "Yeah, sure, that's nice," but before you could even hope to understand the significance behind the score, there was so much more to be said. It would go something like:
60 piece matches are the most efficient way of scoring. The highest scoring 60 piece match that I could hope to do consistently usually scored around 49000, but it was luck based, and could drop to 45-47K if you're unlucky (and you don't fill up/give up). The time to make and clear the match was around 60-75 seconds for me, and the game was 200 seconds long. As such, the high scores had stacked around 145-148K, as I could get 3 full matches and perhaps an extra thousand points or so if there were a few seconds remaining. Since short matches were worth so little, there was a lot more importance on getting 3 high scoring matches. The barrier to break then was 150K. I realized there was a strategy adjustment I could make that was basically as easy to pull off consistently and it scored 50090 max, but could generally get 49500 or so (barring bad luck, which was always a potential problem). Using the adjustment, I broke the 150K barrier, which was pretty cool itself. But then I got faster. That was the significant improvement. That is what the 17,000 over 150,000 clearly implies. Before setting 167000 I was having 20-30 seconds left over at the end, and suddenly the 4th match was no longer some barely important tie breaking 1000 points, it was now 8000, 10000 points. And on my record run I had like 40 seconds left and I got probably 20000 points on the last match. The speed increase shifts the focus of the game again, and now speed becomes more important than max points on the full matches, because if you're fast enough, the last match becomes a long match and then every extra second is an extra second to extend that last match a couple pieces, and every couple pieces is now an extra 1000 points or more. What's really exciting is that I built up and brought down a full match in 50 seconds once! I mean I'm not actually actively playing the game anymore, but if I was, you know what that means. It means 200000 is the next target, and it's actually achievable, albeit extremely difficult and luck based with the current strategies and skill level of the best player, you know.
Or, well, no, you don't know. And you probably don't really care that much about it either, do you. I mean, I can understand that.
Maybe though, maybe you like Mario Kart Wii or something. Well, if you want to talk about what I (or you) like (or hate) about the game, or what is good or bad about the game, I'm probably not going to have anything to say. Maybe if it was that you wanted to hear about a story of a clan, or of a war, or of a race, then I might have something to say. Or if you wanted to talk about the tension and excitement in racing in 2nd trying to overcome 1st.
See, I believed in myself to be able to do that. Especially in draft range. If 1st doesn't have an item it's a free pass. Staying in the line well enough isn't really the challenge, well, it can be a hard thing to do, but I mean, it's something that should be doable. And then if you have an item too, you ought to take the lead no problem, you know, at least, that's how I always feel about it. Yeah I always remember the item counts, like, you see them pull out an item, so that's their only one, or they just go through a box so they have 2. The guy with more items gets free shots at the opponent, well, mostly free, maybe you risk dropping a banana and then getting a fib in first and the guy in 2nd gets a red, and well yeah. But you pay attention to the item counts and know when you have to be careful and probably dodge something. And then in 2nd, there's a way you can draft the person in 1st and dodge any item they drop just by aiming well enough. There's one problem though: the person in first could expect it, and then they jump in front of you and drop an item and you aren't dodging that on reaction. Still, unless you're playing against one of the tip top racers, you probably don't have to worry about that. You get that draft, drive a bit to the side to dodge an item drop and then through them to force them to break their wheelie or get bumped, and then you have the lead. But you've got to look back regularly, to counter their play. When I see someone going for the draft, I always try to drive an adjusted line so they can't get it, or if they're still there, I might hop out of a wheelie and yeah it slows you down, but as long as you hop around directly in front of them, how are they going to make the pass? It lets them close the distance a bit, but if they're not slow (slower than you at least), you're not going to pull out of draft range by driving standard lines or keeping your wheelie. It keeps your first at least. Or do you think there's a better way to play it?
Well, you're probably not a high level competitive racer, so let me guess, you have nothing to say.
Then, you could say something like, "You like anime? I like anime too!" To which I would have no response. "What's your favorite anime?" Um... nothing to say. "What types do you like?" Uh... nothing to say. "Hm... You watched Madoka? Did you like it?" Um... sure. "Who's your favorite character?" Uh... nothing to say. "I love Naruto!" Nothing. "I hate the people who love Naruto!" Nothing. "Do you think that anime can emphasize the often contradictory notions that people have by portraying situations in which the viewer will feel a certain way, even though the events that are occurring, when interpreted differently, would evoke the opposite feelings?" Um... I don't know, but that sounds plausible and maybe I have something to say about that, but I don't have anything specific to say at the moment, maybe in an hour or so I'll have a general idea of my feelings on the answer to that question...
And then you're like, "All right, I get it. You don't want to talk about your own opinions. So let's talk about something like math! You are a mathematician and all." It's like, well, what is there to say? Is there some specific math topic you want to know about that I understand well enough to talk about? Or is there something cool you know that I don't? Because otherwise I don't really have anything to say, you know. I just don't have anything to say!
I could listen though. If you wanted to talk, I could be a very extremely nonjudgmental listener. But if it was something to say... I don't even know what there is that I would want to talk about. Shared interests? Shared memories? Well, I guess those are possibilities. Or, if there was some way to get a full point across, uninterrupted, without having to worry about opinionated people trying to tell you how wrong or right you are before you even complete your entire point, I guess in that situation I would say more of the things that I actually wanted to say. But I don't know what those things would be.
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