You know, I'm not really very strongly opinionated. And, to be honest, you could say that that's quite an understatement. And yeah, that may be how I am, but it's not like I have a problem with people who are really opinionated. is what I say, but I don't know, maybe that's not completely true. Actually, no, that's not true at all! I have a big problem with people who have strong opinions. Yeah, you hear that?! I have a problem with you guys out there! Yes, you! You got a problem with that?! Huh?!! Eh! Ahem.
It's not like I have a problem with people who are really opinionated. I mean I could work together perfectly on a project with someone who has strong opinions, and it's not like I'm going to dislike you just because of something like that. But if you wanted to actually connect with me...
See, if you're just going to say something like, "This is the best/worst thing ever," as a fact, you might as well at the same time say, "and I am completely disregarding and disrespecting your opinion, as it means nothing whatsoever to me, and neither do the opinions of anyone out there who might disagree with me." I mean if you're going to say something like that, how am I supposed to respond? You want me to agree with you? Argue the other side? I mean I could say, "Sure, yeah, uh huh," but that's not very interesting. And it's not like I'm going to want to try and change your opinion. And why should I bother to even give an opinion if you don't care about it anyway?
People ask anyway though. They say stuff like, "Hey, do you like such and such" and it's always a hard question for me to answer. A lot of times the most complete answer would be something like, "Well, there are a lot of specific things about it that I like, but there are also a lot of things that I don't like, so at best it's slightly leaning towards one side, but I can't really give a conclusive answer..." Yeah, I never actually said that to anyone. Usually I just chose one side and answered that way.
And then people are like, "Well I thought the opposite, so why do you have that opinion?" and it's like, "I don't know, I don't even feel that strongly about it at all, so I don't know what you expect me to say, but..." Or they're like, "Yeah, your opinion is completely right-" no. No, it's not. It's just my opinion, I'm not saying that it's right or wrong, and I don't have a problem with all the other people out there that have the opposite opinion, and...
And then they think they're right about things, and they're like, "The prior distribution for the noise in this inverse problem is inverse gamma because I think it should be, that guy is an idiot, anything that I like is good because I like it, and I understand exactly who you are, I mean you said it right there, 'I have a big problem with people who have strong opinions.'" And it's like no, no, I mean, I know it's hard to understand, but I don't live with a one sided view, I don't live with a one sided view. And have you at least attempted to show why that's a good assumption for the noise? Do you even really know that guy, I mean, really know that guy? And is there something so special about you, because I could say that same thing but have a different opinion, so that statement can't be true for multiple people at the same time.
And then ironically, my guess is that the people that I really could connect to would be like, "Hmm... maybe I am like that," and then the people that I had trouble connecting to would be like, "Yeah, I know how you feel, I hate people like that too-" no. No, I don't hate people like that! I wouldn't hate people for something like that. And by the way you kind of are like that yourself!
Brings me back to "Your opinion sucks, but it's really not that bad" thing I say when it comes to anime. Me, I’m the kind of person that lives to approach and talk with the opinionated. I really only like a type of opinionated, however, and you could tell me your thoughts. I deal with many of the opinionated in what I do. Which is nothing. Usually.
ReplyDeleteThe people I find I best connect with are not those that have the same opinion as me on something with a varying level of contention (with favorite color being the lowest on the list), but rather the way they handle divisive issues. For example, I would connect with someone who says something to the extent of, "The United States government could be more fair," than "I think liberals are suppressed by the conservative media." The first is somewhat ambiguous while acknowledging that there is an issue, and something should be done about it. The second lists specifics and proposes a side. There's also the use of the word, "I think" which I'll tackle later too.
Hypothetically, let's say I agree with the second. What would I say to that? Like you said, it's entirely foolish to say, "Yeah, your opinion is completely right" when it's an opinion. A response is, "I agree."
This response is nearly as foolish, if not more, as the first. The problem is that it's prone to something I refer to as circle-jerking. I say something, the other person says the same thing, we both say the same thing and waste each others' time saying the same thing over and over again. Frankly, I’m suspicious of those that I agree with to the point where it’s uncanny, because it’s likely they’ll end up selling me something.
Now, let's examine another useless statement, "I disagree." I'm essentially saying his opinion is wrong. More appropriately, we're going to end up disagreeing over and over on the issue. This is similar to circle-jerking, but more appropriately it’s square-fisting. Beating each other senseless just to get to the point that we’ll agree to disagree is just silly. No one’s opinion is changed, and both parties are just trying their best to hate the other into looking to the other side.
Then there’s this crap about “I think.” It’s a qualifier that restates a possible fact as an opinion. “Liberals are suppressed by the conservative media” is a statement that must be backed up by facts. Using the word, “I think” means that facts, of all things, are debatable; and worse, that you’re not sure and possibly misinformed. It’s things like that that cause people to say something like, “I think Obama is a muslim” or “I think Naruto is the greatest anime ever.”
“The govt. could be more fair,” does take a side on an issue, but it’s purposefully unmeasured to open dialogue. As much as I like that type of statement, I’m still pretty hopelessly hypocritical when I say things like “One Piece sucks ass” and “anime is SHIT.” This is mostly for the humor, and I’m not really looking for someone to say, “YEAH, that stuff SUCKS,” unless they, too, also are being humorous. I enjoy playfully bantering on stuff like that in a relaxed setting, but sometimes you do have to recognize that some people feel strongly about stuff like that in a more formal setting. To safely approach an issue in front of, say, your boss, open-ended statements are the way to go.
There are definitely times when I wonder, "Do people really believe what they're saying or are they just saying it because their friends are saying it or popular people are saying it or something like that?" And I've never heard the term "square-fisting" before lol.
DeleteI think open-minded disagreement leads to the best conversation. If you already agree on something with someone else, then I can't see much more there beyond like, "Cool, someone else agrees with me." And if you're purely going to disagree or you're set in your opinions regardless, that's a pointless discussion too. But if two people disagree but are also are open to the other side, then there's a lot to think about and talk about.
Yeah, there are facts out there, and it doesn't do anything to express them as opinions. Facts about the president or the quality of Naruto... wait.
But- what if there aren't any facts out there? What if for any statement there were two different worlds of thought in which that statement had opposite truth values? Or what if reality as we perceive it is nothing more than a mere illusion, a trick on the mind that makes us believe in these so called "facts" when nothing is true at all!!? Ahem.
I think a statement like "The government could be more fair," is an excellent way to start a conversation, because I could respond with anything I might not like about the government (who out there thinks it's perfect as it is now?), or I could always try and get your opinion by saying, "Why do you say that?" The only problem is, well, what if I don't have anything I want to say about the government?
Like, when we’re first introducing anime club, and people aren’t sure whether they like the club or hate it, it’s bad mojo to say outright, “we don’t show the big 3 because they SUCK.” It’s better to say, “while the big 3 have their own merits, our club remains open-minded to other anime that haven’t been running for as long.” This is why we have the rule about not showing an anime twice, or say something like, “we just show new anime.” This is why the club fundamentally can’t collapse in the future if a naruto headband-wearing neckbeard were to become president of our anime club. As long as a leader holds those values that have been in place since even before I was president, the club should not (and I precipitously say “SHOULD not”) fail.
ReplyDeleteLong story short, that’s the sort of person I like and try to portray myself as and surround myself with when it comes to the opinionated people. Yet, we still keep Steve around. He’s got other merits though. :D